Good Grief: Celebrating What Death Can’t Take Away

February 1, 2014 — Leave a comment

My father is suffering from bone and lung cancer.  He’s stage four.

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Good Grief

We all know time with him is limited and that is sobering.  I call him daily, travel to see him often, and together we check off items on his “bucket list.”  We are making the most of each moment and sharing a lot of love.  Yet I know the day will come when I will have to grieve his loss.  The thought of that brings tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat even as I write.

Being a Pastor of a local church I both perform and attend numerous funerals.  Over the years I have walked thousands through the pathways of grieving.  And there are some things I have learned.

There are two sides to grieving…

*Letting go of what death has taken from us.

*Latching hold of what death can’t take away.

When a loved one dies, there are things lost.  For our own emotional health these are things of which we must learn to let go.  What are these things?

  1. The person’s immediate presence.  We can’t call them on the phone, share a cup of coffee, or go for a walk.  We will miss this.
  2. The person’s earthly future with us.   We won’t be building new memories with them in the coming years.  Future birthdays, graduations, weddings, and holidays will not be experienced together.
  3. Our dreams of how our lives would be shared with them.  We have lived with expectations of how our future will be with this person in our lives.  All this has changed and we must accept that our future will be lived out without them as a present living factor.  We can sense their spirit, but they will not be physically with us.

When we sorrow over these losses we honor our loved one’s memory.  We are professing that they meant something profound to us and that is why they are sorely missed.

But, we must also remember, that when a loved one dies, there are things that death cannot take away from us.  These are the blessings that we get to keep.  Death cannot rob us of them.

  1. Death can’t take away the memories.  They are yours to keep as long as you live.
  2. Death can’t take away the love invested.  The love invested made you who you are.  The results of that love still shape your life.
  3. Death can’t take away the connection you experienced.  That bond you shared you can still cherish.
  4. Death can’t take away the laughter.  Those funny memories are still in your mind to replay and find yourself laughing again and again.
  5. Death can’t take away the lessons learned.  The things you learned from your interaction with them are now a part of you.  They live on.
  6. Death can’t take away the promises of God.  For those redeemed in Christ, death is not the end.  There is a glorious heavenly home.  And for those left behind, there is God’s comforting presence…”Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:  for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”  (Psalm 23:4, KJV)

No explanation of grief can take away the pain.  But I find it encouraging viewing loss from the perspective that there are things that death cannot take away.  Though we have lost the loved ones we miss, we realize we still have so many of the blessings that their living afforded us.

Question:  What are things that you will always cherish about someone you have lost to death?  You can leave a comment by clicking here.

 

 

In Walking with Jesus
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When God Calls You Into the Unknown

January 26, 2014 — 1 Comment

God has a destiny for you.  Have you chosen to enter it?  If you have, just know that following such a path will demand your faith be stretched and your courage tested.

Journey into Unknown

Journey into Unknown

The word destiny sounds mysterious, but it need not.  By destiny, I merely refer to God’s plan for your life.  It is the life you will live if you choose to follow God.

Don’t get destiny confused with a glamorous, or famous, life.  The life God has planned for you may or may not become front page news.  Consider the example of Abraham in scripture.  We know him now, but in his day he was only the head of a small family of nomads amidst much larger civilizations.  But God had a destiny for Abraham to follow and that destiny would have far reaching impact.  Consider the scripture…

“The LORD had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.  “I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.  I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”  So Abram left, as the LORD had told him; and Lot went with him…and they set out for the land of Canaan, and they arrived there.”  (Genesis 12:1-5, NIV)

This simple act of obedience would define the history of God’s people for thousands of years.   It would establish God’s chosen people in the Promised Land and it would be through Abraham that Christ would come.

From Abraham we learn some important lessons about God’s plan for our lives, our destiny.

God’s destiny is meant for blessing:

*His destiny is meant to be blessing for you.  God said to Abraham, “I will bless you.”  God says the same to us.  Follow me and you will experience blessing.

*His destiny is meant to bless others through you.  God told Abraham that following his destiny would result in his life becoming “a blessing.”  The adventure of God is always about making us a channel of His blessings to others.

*His destiny is to bring blessing to the next generations after you.  After arriving in Canaan God said, “To your offspring I will give this land.” (v. 7)  We should always be aware that the choices we make to follow God today will impact the generations to come.

God’s destiny demands our courage:

  1. We must leave the familiar.  To enter his destiny he had to leave the life of comfort and predictability.  He left his country, people, and father’s household.  To enter the adventures God has for you, you will have to be willing to leave the status quo.  If you do not, you will never be able to take the next step.
  2. We must follow God into the unfamiliar.  God said, “go to the land I will show you.”  Abraham had never been there before.  Are you willing to step into experiences you are unfamiliar with in order to follow God.  You will never experience the adventure of God, until you venture into that which is unknown to you.

The Challenge:  Ask yourself the question:  Is the Lord prompting me to step out of a comfort zone to venture into a new experience of serving Him?  If so, today take your first steps and follow God into the unfamiliar.

Question:  What have you found to be the greatest rewards to following God into a new adventure?  You can leave a comment by clicking here.

In Serving Jesus
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Start A Leadership Book Group

January 24, 2014 — Leave a comment

The advance of any community, organization, or institution is dependent on the quality of its leadership.  Governments, schools, industries, businesses, or churches only advance when skilled leaders are at the helm.  Raise the level of those leaders and you raise the impact of organizations.

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Leader Reading

How do you do it?

The Bible wisely observes, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17, NIV)  The idea is a person’s skill level is honed to a fine edge when the person shares their experience with another who is likewise striving for excellence in the same field.

Though not all readers are leaders, all leaders are readers.  A great way to improve your skill is to glean lessons from the experience of others through books.  Reading on leadership enables you to learn from another person’s journey.  For decades, I have been reading on leadership as I have sought to enhance my own.

Even better than reading leadership books is to read leadership books as a member of a Leadership Book Group.  Such a group can really fulfill the “iron sharpens iron” objective.

What do I mean by Leadership Book Group?  Glad you asked!

About 14 years ago I formed my first group.  I wanted to raise the level of Christian leadership in my church.  I gathered a small group of professionals who led in a variety of venues in the community:  business, medicine, education, law, and ministry.  As the facilitator of the group I asked each member to make a commitment to participate in the group for a number of months.

We agreed on a list of leadership-oriented books to read during the agreed upon time period.  We met a few times each month to discuss the books and share our own leadership experiences.  The insights gained were invaluable.

We all led in very different organizations, but at a fundamental level our leadership challenges had much in common.  We would learn from each other, but as Christians we would also actively pray for one another.  We became better leaders.

Since that time I have formed many such groups.    I find when Christian leaders grow together in leadership, they tend to have more influence for the Kingdom of God.

I am leading a group right now.  It is amazing watching leaders glean lessons from books and help each other implement the principles in their specific settings.

Often, I have former group members call me and thank me for the role a group played in their life and leadership.  In fact, a man texted me just the other day thanking me for a group I led six years ago.

Are you a leader that wants to sharpen your skills?  Consider starting a group.  Here are some simple steps you can take…

  1. Gather a group of leaders.  It’s easy!  Just start by asking other leaders you know.  You will be surprised how many will say yes.  Leaders are hungry for this kind of experience.
  2. Choose a group from varying fields.  Leadership principles are universal to all organizations.  It can be very helpful to learn from people who are in somewhat different settings than you.
  3. Agree on a lifespan for your group.  How long will your group last?  Most people like to join something that has a clear end.  I have done groups for as long as a year and as brief as 14 weeks.
  4. Decide on a regular time and place to meet.  Often we have met at a local restaurant for breakfast twice a month.  The group I lead now meets at church each Wednesday evening.  We only meet for an hour or so.  Do what is right for you.
  5. Determine the books you will read and discuss.  As the facilitator you might want to make several suggestions to choose from.  But listen to the group.  They will have good ideas.  You might choose books like…John Maxwell’s 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, Henry and Richard Blackaby’s Spiritual Leadership, Albert Mohler’s The Conviction To Lead, or Bill Hybel’s Axiom.  There are so many options!
  6. Pray.  Ask God to sharpen your group’s leadership and strengthen your friendships.
  7. Start meeting.  Set the date, buy the books, read, and start meeting.

Question:  Have you read a great leadership book, perhaps with a Christian emphasis?  Will you share it with us?  You can leave a comment by clicking here.

 

In Leadership
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